I am an Acne-Covered Caterpillar

I noticed something recently, and surprisingly, it’s not just happening to me. This may be an overgeneralization due to my limited availability to see people at all (come on, tiny university-town), but I’ve noticed that Asians have JUST STARTED PUBERTY. I’m not talking about growing tall, voice deepening, gonads developing kind of puberty per se, but more of the stereotypical awkward wonders of acne! It seems like since university started, all the Asians I know (including me, because I know myself) have developed a spotty complexion. My chin has become a magical elf forest of pimples. It is actually astounding how it manages to grow so much crap when I wash and tone my face twice a day, never touch my face without washing my hands, and don’t use makeup every day. Where the hell does it even get the materials to churn out all these little monsters! What is this, alchemy? Turning lead into gold! Little annoying pustules of gold! (Ew). Rather, turning nothing into ALL OF THESE THINGS GAHHH WHYYYY ASDJF;ASJDF;

(Let’s have an intermission. The reason why I am so worked up about this is because for my whole life, I have always prided myself in being the only one with perfect skin WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING MORE THAN WASHING IT WITH WATER. I would legit get compliments from strangers (which were sometimes a little creepy…) about how nice my skin was! They would ask what my secret is, and I’d be all “I HAVE NONE.” My mom always said, “I never had acne when I was little, so you have nothing to worry about! Your skin will always be this clear!” SHE LIED. LIAR. DAMMIT KARMA KFJD;DKAFSJ; T____T I don’t blame her. Somehow, western society turns people soft… For example, have you noticed that allergies are only common in North America? That’s a topic for another day; right now I’m busy talking about HOW MAD I AM THAT MY PERFECT SKIN HAS TURNED INTO THIS SEURAT PAINTING OF PIMPLES)

So back on topic. I noticed that a lot of my Asian friends have had similar difficulties with taming their skin recently. One theory is, of course, stress. Holy balls, peeps weren’t kidding when they said university has a shit-ton of work… (Before any of you say “hey, you’re in arts, you don’t have any work!” lemme tell you a story: FUCK YOU.) We don’t drink or party, yet there’s still never enough time to do anything… We’re not watching Asian dramas the whole time I promise… My second theory is the puberty thing! It’s possible that we’re only experiencing pizza face now at this delayed (and frankly, terrible) timing because we age differently or something. Wow, now this sounds racist. No but seriously, it seems like all of my Caucasian friends have grown out of their awkward teenage cocoon and emerged as a fucking beautiful butterfly (good God, everyone is pretty), but I’m de-evolving into a caterpillar… AN ACNE-COVERED CATERPILLAR.

As you can see, I am not taking this whole skin thing very well. It’s actually quite cruel how life has lulled me into a false sense of security, making me think that I’ve somehow dodged a bullet, and then BAM the bullet pulls a 180 and shoots me in the back of the head. Oh God, I’ve never had chicken pox either, that better not be a boomerang…

P.S. I refuse to use gross chemically products like Proactiv or benzoyl peroxide because I’M NOT PART OF THE SYSTEM!!! (I may not seem like it, but I’m really for them all-natural products and such…)

P.P.S. Asians reading this: please don’t take offence! It’s just me derping around with observations because I notice random things like this (not like I have work to do… just a few major papers and such…).

So what do you think the reason is for this acne epidemic? Yes, I am calling it an epidemic. Don’t try to be all “mmm nawww I don’t gots nah pimplez,” ‘cause I see them gurl, or guy! I see dem… Your pimples can’t hide from me… Okay yes it’s sleepy-time for me…

So Why are You Still Single?

I was going to do an episode about this on last week's vlog, but then I realized that nobody in my primary audience, the Pegvloggers, is single.

Oh well, I still have a burning urge to rant about being single. No, I am not going to complain about being single myself, I am going to give my opinion about why people are single and the reactions they have to it (which is most often really pathetic).

The inequality of the sexes – a MYTH (males and females are really at the same standing)

It is not more difficult for guys to get girlfriends, nor vice versa.

For people who think it’s easier for girls to find boyfriends: “You have boobs, therefore…” is not the beginning of a good argument. Guys who think girls have the upper hand because all women are beautiful and have vaginas blah blah blah NO. Just GTFO. They say they will take anything they get if only there would be some girl, ANY girl who would be interested in them. That is full of shit. Most of the times, they will turn down any girl who is not up to their ridiculous standards of good looks, generosity, and cup size (remember that I’m only talking about the guys who are still single, “don’t know why”, and complain all the time). Then they proceed to omit these girls from their memories, at the same time still complaining that, for some odd reason, they still can’t find a girlfriend.

People who think it is easier for guys to get girlfriends are also stupid. Due to stereotypical gender roles that have not made much progress in recent years, it’s still expected of the male to make the first move/do all the work. Of course, that does not mean that guys should not do ANY work, which some guys seem to think is the case. There should be a balance of effort from both sides. Come on people, this is the 21^st century, go fight for equality and such. Guys, before complaining about having to do all the work, think about whether or not you have actually DONE any work.

I feel that neither males nor females have an advantage, so both sides should just use that effort they usually use for complaining and put it into developing a meaningful relationship and just generally being less of a crappy person.

The “Friendzone”

It is really getting annoying how this term is used for EVERY rejection situation. It is even more annoying that it is always the guy getting friendzoned (NEWSFLASH! Girls get friendzoned too. Even “brozoned.”)

The guy getting friendzoned is always portrayed as someone who is intelligent, humorous, and very caring. If they are indeed as they describe themselves to be, why would they have so much trouble getting a girlfriend? I don’t think that these people are necessarily lying, but rather altering the truth by means of omission. Nobody is stupid enough to turn down someone who is damn near perfect. There has to be some reason as to why these people are rejected. Perhaps their fault is that they think they have no faults. In any case, it’s unreasonable to completely pin the blame on the person who rejected them. Why just give up and admit defeat to the almighty “friendzone?” Chances are that there is some fault in the one getting friendzoned that the other person is too nice to precisely point out, and that is why they do not want to have a romantic relationship. The best thing to do is to take that as a learning experience and reflect on the aspects of oneself that could use improvement. Besides, if someone you like won’t even put in the effort to see past a little fault BEFORE a relationship, what do you think will happen down the road if you two start a serious relationship?

What do you want?

A seemingly obvious question, but it is surprising how many people forget about this part.

Do you really know what it is specifically that you want? I am not talking about height, hair colour, body shape, etc. I am talking about what you want out of the relationship.

Most people give these general standards for their “dream relationship,” such as “my girlfriend/boyfriend needs to be funny, easy to talk to, and supportive,” but these standards can apply to ANY friend without the need to involve a romantic factor (which is another point for my friendzone argument: if the qualities you are looking for are just the qualities that friends have, why are you so surprised when the other person only wants to be friends with you?).

Find out what it is you are seeking BEFORE going into a relationship. Even better, do that before even starting to look for a relationship (this saves unnecessary letdowns).

I know I’m not a expert of romantic relationships, but LEGIT ALL OF MY FRIENDS ARE COUPLES. It’s only natural that I’d learn about these things after a few years. The art of observation is a powerful one.

Hopefully, this has made at least one person more awesome and decreased general world suck. If you’re wary of my “advice” just because I don’t have first-hand experience, then think about this: perhaps it is this prejudice that is what has been causing you misfortune in your dating life. Give people a chance! You’re not so perfect yourself. What may appear to be nothing special at first could very well transform into something very special if only you are patient enough.